blood, sweat, and tears

i had the craziest bloody nose today. ohmygoodness, it just bled and bled. crazy.

then, yesterday i cried and cried. oh so sad, actually the weird thing was i wasn't sad. i am on this birth control for a menstration regulator and it is seriously screwing up my hormones. so, i cried and cried and i called in crying to work.

this is my sweet life. sweet.


another way

i am sitting in my room, reading. i am listening to music, loud, because my housemates are listening to even louder music that i think is awful.
i am reading and i am thinking and i am getting visions and i am getting scared.
do we really ever stop to think about what jesus meant when he said sell your things and join the poor. whatever you do to the least you do to me. love your neighbor as yourself. ?
i don't think i ever stop and think about these things, because if i did i would be alot more scared alot more of the time.
my heart is changing too and i am real scared.

i am excited too.


400 dollars later

yes, you guessed it. all of these preparations have forced me to spend 400 dollars yesterday. whoa, i am still a little anxious.

i wish everything in my life wasn't surrounding my departure, but alas it is.
and, i am getting REALLY excited. and also, this morning, when jebbers awoke, he said to me, "regan?". or maybe he asked to me. in either case. so cute. oh, and sad.



66 days

i have concluded that this blog is really for me and josh(hi josh, how are you?) and that is okay.
i am leaving in 66 days and i am excited. really. and i am terrified. i am overwhelmed at how happy i am to be seeing regan in 9.5 weeks. wow! it makes me feel peaceful. it is weird, but i like it.
i only have 7 more weekends to work at Marczyck's. yay! this is crazy. is this crazy?
there is so much i need to do.
1)get all of my hiking/camping gear
2)purchase ticket(i have one holding that is 874$)
3)get my cell phone stuff in order
4)learn spanish
5)figure out all of my loan stuff
6)make some serious money
7)et cetera

stressed and a little anxious.